Money & Career Take Toll on Filipinos’ Marriage Plans
Fewer than 3,000 Filipinos got married in Dubai over the past two years and an even lower number tied the knot in Abu Dhabi with many opting to postpone familial responsibilities amid issues on money and career
DUBAI:The population of Filipinos in the UAE is approaching a million but the percentage of singles wanting to get hitched is just a drop in the bucket with many pointing to concerns over money and career as main deterrents.
Philippine Consul Ferdinand Flores told The Filipino Timestheir office married only 2,663 couples over the past two years.
Specifically, their records showed only 1,314 marriages were conducted at the Philippine Consulate in Dubai and Northern Emirates in 2013. In 2014, 1,349 couples married.
This year, fewer than 40 couples marry in Dubai and Abu Dhabi combined each week.
In a presentation about the 2013 National Demographic and Health Survey, Dr. Grace T. Cruz of the University of the Philippines Population Institute pointed out “delayed marriages is getting to be the practice in the Philippines” as more people prefer to be stable before they settle down.
The popularity of seeking jobs overseas in the country also paved the way for the emergence of female-headed families which make up 18 percent of all households in the Philippines, Cruz added.
In a random TFT poll, singles claimed they are not in a hurry to marry with some even hinting that marriage is becoming irrelevant in this digital age amid issues over financial stability and the Filipinos’ propensity to work overseas.
Geof Soriano, a marketing executive, said financial stability plays an important role for him and his girlfriend in their decision to get married.
Both are still supporting their parents and other relatives in the Philippines, thus, are reluctant to get hitched and start their own family.
KringKring, also a marketing executive, said she’s not dating anyone at the moment and does not see herself getting married anytime soon.
She said she still wants to grow as an individual as well as focus in her career. She also believes that love will come in the least unexpected time and place.
Romylene Julian Ibay, freelance mode and event coordinator, said she doesn’t want to get married yet because she is still enjoying being single while, at the same time, fulfilling her responsibilities to her parents and siblings.
“One more thing is I haven’t found the right one yet,” she said.
For 32-year-old Dice Montano, founder of Prospeed Car Club, money and religion are two major issues that should be settled before any couple decide to marry.
“Both should be prepared financially and psychologically for marriage,” he said.
Nino Ortega, managing director of a Dubai-based events company, for his part, believes in taking his time before settling down with someone. He said he wants to build and create a better relationship with God before finding his spouse.
Ortega, Soriano, Kring Kring and Ibay said their ideal marrying age is between 27 to 35 years old.
The economics of marriage
More than 12 million Filipinos are employed overseas, many of them are burdened with familial obligations.
Those based in the UAE are not spared with more than 90 percent claiming they are obliged to send money back home at every opportunity to provide for their parents, siblings, nephews and nieces and even distant relatives.
OFWs interviewed by TFT said they send between 20 to 70 percent of their salaries back home to support their families.
This sets back their plans of getting hitched with their salaries potentially getting reduced, thereby, affecting the lives as well of those who depend on them.
On average, OFWs remit at least $25 billion annually to the country, money that stimulate economic activities and investments.
According to the Asian Development Bank, the Philippine unemployment rate fell to 6.6 percent in January 2015, the lowest in 10 years. Thus far, about 2.6 million Filipinos remain jobless, half of them aged 15-25 and a further 6.5 million were categorized as underemployed.
Long engagement?
“Definitely,” said Soriano. “A long engagement will help you test the water – individually and as a couple. As they say, marriage is a lifetime commitment, and you don’t want to end up separating when you feel that it’s just not right.”
Kring also prefers long term engagement, explaining that planning and preparing for the future is one of the keys to marriage survival. “The next thing is you need to build a strong foundation, as well as discover and deal with the strong and weak side of each other.”
Joy Libarios Remo, receptionist, prefers a long engagement because it will enable her and her boyfriend to further know each other.
Montano and Ortega, for their part, said long engagement is not for them.
“If I feel it’s time (to marry her), then so be it,” Montano said.
“I believe that once you feel someone is right for you, there’s no need for a long engagement. Once a person says ‘Yes’ in a proposal, that means that the person surely wants to marry her partner,” Ortega said.
Oliver Arzadon, sales and marketing executive, said love doesn’t choose time. “We can love or be loved even when we’re busy with work.”
“In my opinion, I have to give priority to things that can help my personal improvements. Once I get there or when love comes out of the blue, I will grab it and love it with all of my heart.”
Marriageis still relevant
Soriano said marriage is “a way to honor our Creator and ask for His blessing.
“The union between two people should always be celebrated but not necessarily with expensive gowns, food and souvenirs. Much like a ship being hit with a bottle of champagne before it sails, marriage is that moment when a couple shout to the world that they are now about to take on some bigger challenges – together. Marriage is not and will not be an outdated institution.”
Jon Alec Velasco, global network manager, said marriage is still important,“Considering that we live in a modern day society where it is accepted to be in a relationship even with the absence of marriage.”
“I think I owe it to my parents – what they taught me and what I see in them.”
Ryle Tuvierra, fashion designer, totally agrees marriage is important. Tuvierra said he comes from a broken family but stressed thatmarriage, to him, remains sacred.
Maricel Soriano, social media expert, said it amazes her how a piece of paper holds so much power.
“However, I think being married provides certain protection to the relationship and it creates a certain structure and security to young couples who are trying to start a family. In that sense, it’s relevant or important,” Soriano said noting that she can live without marrying anybody.
The PCG holds weddings every Thursday for Filipinos who are of legal age. If the couple getting married is between 18 and 21 years old, they must first secure a parental consent.
Those between 22 and above need not get any parental advice.
Although the PCG has the power to issue marriage certificates among Filipino expats marrying foreigners, the consuls and vice consuls are not allowed to solemnize an interracial marriage.
“We can only issue the [marriage] documents but we cannot solemnize because we are bound by law – the Family Code, which states that we can only solemnize Filipino nationals in the Philippines and abroad,” Consul Giovanni Palec explained.
The Philippines is the only country in the world, apart from the Vatican, where divorce is not recognized. Legally married couples who want to dissolve their union can opt for the costly annulment. A divorce bill is currently pending before the House of Representatives.